Double update! Nightmare groom ruins two separate wedding photo shoots, furious photographer deletes photos

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 1, 2023 11:00 AM EST

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes: at this wedding, there's no going back from the groom's big mistake. 

Told from the photographer's point of view, this wedding sounds like a nightmare from the moment it began. The OP, u/Icy-Reserve6995, posted a three part story. She writes that although she works as a dog photographer, she offered to photograph her friend's wedding for super cheap. She showed up before the ceremony to shoot for hours, working from 11AM until 7:30PM. 

However, these were no ordinary working conditions. With no contract to protect her, the OP wasn't allowed to sit down, eat, or take a break! The venue was sweltering, and she was even denied water. Naturally, after spending a full day shooting a wedding, the OP was at her breaking point when she was denied these basic necessities. The groom simply wouldn't allow her to have a drink or a break! She asked the groom if he really wanted her to leave without pay, and he said yes. Well, this photographer called his bluff. 

Crazy enough though, is this isn't even the end of the story. The OP ended up doing a second photo shoot for her friend and the nightmare groom. Read the entire story below, then click here to read about one Karen who made a teen girl cry after feeling entitled to "parent her."

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  • 01
    Purple - 'AITA for deleting my friend's wedding photos in front of them?' S FE 1.8/85
    via TheRegisti
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA hole Posted by u/Icy-Reserve6995 10 3 2 23424 3 55 47 S55 AITA for deleting my friend's wedding photos in front of them? Not the A-hole
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 03
    Font - I'm not really a photographer, I'm a dog groomer. I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram, it's "my thing" if that makes sense. A cut and a photo with every appointment. I very seldom shoot things other than dogs even if I have a nice set up.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 04
    Font - A friend got married a few days ago and wanting to save money, asked if I'd shoot it for them. I told him it's not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn't care if they were perfect: they were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10 hour event.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 05
    Font - On the day of, I'm driving around following the bride as she goes from appointment to appointment before the ceremony, taking photos along the way. I shoot the ceremony itself, and during the reception I'm shooting speeches and people mingling.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 06
    Font - I started around 11am and was due to finish around 7:30pm. Around 5pm, food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be photographer; in fact, they didn't save me a spot at any table. I'm getting tired and at this point kinda regretting doing this for next to nothing. It's also unbelievably hot: the venue is in an old veteran's legion and it's like 110F and there's no AC.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 07
    Font - I told the groom I need to take off for 20min to get something to eat and drink. There's no open bar or anything, I can't even get water and my two water bottles are long empty. He tells me I need to either be photographer, or leave without pay. With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all the photos I took in front of him and took off saying I'm not his photographer anymore. If I was to be paid $250,
    via u/
  • 08
    Font - Was I the as hole? They went right on their honeymoon and they've all been off of social media, but a lot of people have been posting on their wall asking about photos with zero responses.
    via u/
  • 09

    The OP created her first update here. Interestingly, she agreed to do another session for the same low price.

    Font - I previously made a post you can find here and want to provide an update. This is a throwaway account so I'm sorry for not replying to every DM but I hope this answers many of the questions people had. Immediately after the wedding they went off for their honeymoon; they went to a cottage up north and didn't use social media for a week. In that time they got lots of requests for photos on Facebook and I didn't reply to anyone because, to me, this was done and I didn't want the headache of
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 10
    Font - The bride contacted me when they returned and asked me my side of the story. I don't know when the groom spilled the beans but he wasn't truthful about it. He told her I had camera problems and lost the photos. I told her plainly what happened and told her that while I felt guilty, it's no way to treat someone doing them a favor. She wasn't in the know about any of this, and asked if there was any way we could mend this.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 11
    Font - We got to talking and I've agreed to do a reshoot for some photos later in the season. She wants some photos of just them in an outdoors shoot, photos of the rings, some artsy-fartsy shots, and that's it. She offered me the original $250 and I agreed under the condition I bail at word one of cp from either of them. As for the original photos, I offered to bring my SD card to a place that could attempt to recover them, but at their cost, and she declined.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 12
    Font - Word did get out on social media about some of this and we agreed to sweep it under the rug and try to defuse or play down what happened. Of the few comments I did read, they were wholly against me because the story is twisted with the "her camera died" narrative the groom spun. I'm upset but not enough to make a big deal of it. None of them even know my name.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 13
    Font - I did make two interesting connections, though: the DJ was privy to the situation (he was the person I vented to originally) and he asked if I'd shoot their band at an upcoming event. Additionally, the minister asked if I'd like to shoot some promotional images of his church and choir. Not sure if I'm cut out for anything but pet stuff but it's nice to have got something out of this ordeal at least.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 14

    The OP offered a final update, and it's extremely satisfying.

    Font - A Final Update to deleting my "friend's" wedding photos This is my third and final post on the matter, I wanted to make a final update to my post you can find here. According to AITA rules, I am not allowed to post another update, so I've instead put it on my profile.
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 15
    Font - A common sentiment in the previous thread was I was a doormat, and I know that. But if I can justify it just one time: this was never about the money or the people or anything. I'm experienced with photography but only really in one subject area (pet portraits), and I would gladly jump at any opportunity to practice and gain more experience and exposure in other areas of photography. It's extremely validating going from volunteer work to paid work, even if the pay is a small pittance to w
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 16
    Font - I meet them there and they're both prettied up and ready to go. We congregate around my car while I'm unloading my lights and gear bag and I talk about how the shoot is going to go. I laid out the specific shots I was going to take, then where the lights would be, their poses, etc. I asked the husband if he could help me carry sandbags and he declined, saying my job is photographer, not him. Something in me snapped and I just started loading my stuff up again and got into my car despite t
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 17
    Font - I got the bride to correct the record on Facebook that there was a disagreement between her husband and I. I don't know if anyone has connected the dots yet to an article or articles they might have read, but a lot of people were upset and actually taking my side for once. The bride said we all worked it out (which sorta happened) and will have some photos to post soon. For my update, I bailed on the shoot. It was meant to be later in November so they could have snowy photos but a few nig
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 18
    Font - All told my investment in this shoot was maybe 30min making a game plan on what shots and what to bring, and a 5min drive each way; that is if you don't count my previous day wasted. At the very least I find solace I wasted their time and money (on makeup, etc), if even a little. As well, I'm learning I'm really not cut out for this stuff: I need more experience, in particular dealing with clients, before I take on this kind of work because I'm quickly learning I am hating this aspect of
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 19

    The OP has learned a valuable lesson about the price of her services. And now she can tell who's being a fake friend before another explosive situation comes along.

    Font - As an aside, I don't like many of the people (here on Reddit, either publicly or through DMs; as well, some Youtubers who have "covered" my post) who try to gatekeep photography. It makes me very sad to read things like I'm not a "real photographer". While it's true I'm not super experienced, these kind of comments really dig deep when I'm doing my best and trying to learn more about photography. I've been using a DSLR for about ten years, photographing pets and some small events along th
    via u/Icy-Reserve6995
  • 20
    Font - Slight-Subject5771 You are a real photographer. Haters gonna hate.
    via u/Slight-Subject5771
  • 21
    Font - [deleted] Hopefully the bride, all made up with her hair done and dressed for wedding photos as she watched you drive away, truly understands now that the blame for all of this falls squarely and solely on her husband for being a di - AGAIN. Can you imagine what was going through her head in the seconds before turning her head from OP's receding car back to that dips she'd just married.
    via u/deleted
  • 22
    Font - DaLoCo6913 As an amateur photographer with decent skills, I applaud you. I used to do weddings and functions, and there was more money in it. The drama was something I am not cut out for. Now I stick to my favorite subject, birds and wildlife. I don't even take my camera to family functions.
    via u/DaLoCo6913
  • 23
    Font - lilmxfi First, h YES for standing up for yourself. And second, let us know if you hear that the bride and groom have divorced, because I think we all know that's where it's heading. (That poor bride deserves better than her a-hole husband)
    via u/lilmxfi
  • 24
    Font - Jaeger767 I can't stop thinking about the bride whose hubsband single handedly ruined the wedding pictures not once but TWICE. Must be a piece of work to live with.
    via u/Jaeger767
  • 25
    Font - amusingzap I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself! We all talk about doing it but it just so satisfying seeing someone live the dream!! I think you should still keep moving forward with your love of photography. This was one terrible experience, but I think you should keep at it. Maybe you'll even get a reputation as a no nonsense photographer. People won't pull this bs on you since they know you have no problem walking away. Lol
    via u/amusingzap
  • 26
    Font - 00 Stolen Pens Good for you! It's not easy to stand up for yourself and that guy sounds like a pos.
    via u/StolenPens

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Tags

aita nta delete wedding party photos crazy groom ESH wedding photographer update
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